Looking Back

I love the early morning after a good night's sleep. Some of my best memories are of the years we lived in Amarillo before air conditioning.

My bed was beside a window, which was always open at night during the summer. With the open window on the adjacent wall, I had a wonderful cross breeze. If you know Amarillo in the 40s and 50s, the wind always blew and the evenings cooled down. I'd awaken in the morning to the aroma of honeysuckle coming through those windows; the rustle of elm leaves in the trees and the robin's song.

Now I awaken to practically no sounds, but mornings are still sweet.

Tomorrow I have two tests. Today is clear liquids only. Yesterday was 8 glasses of water. I know the ulcer isn't gone and won't be until I can deal with life better. Or until some things in life change.

We can't go back, but I must say I long for those days when life was simple. No concerns that some criminal would come in through my open window. My parents had everything under control. The morning breeze cooled my room; the birds sang their songs and I had years and years ahead of me. Thoughts like this let me know I'm getting closer to the end of my life. Don't old people look back? Is it only the young who give no thought to yesterday but reach toward the tomorrows? If we only knew what tomorrow would bring. . .

Mornings do this to me.