A Dilemma

Here's my dilemma.

My husband's been gone for 5 days and will be home tomorrow evening. Although I've been independent for most of my adult life, since being married to him for the last 5 1/2 years, I've come to depend on having him around. In fact I've missed him more than I thought I would. True, I've gotten lots of writing and researching and planning done on the "Plugged Nickel" novel. I've even had time to go back to "Copper Penny" and begin editing. Those things are important but I've discovered I really don't like living alone any more!

Here's the dilemma. He comes home tomorrow at 6:30. At 6:30 tomorrow Southwest Writers is offering a two hour class for five-weeks on "How to Get Published in Fiction in 5 Easy Steps." The class covers writing a query (a dreaded query), creating a synopsis (shudder!), the submission process, editor/agent relationships, and conventions (?). I want to see my husband, and I want to take the class and I can't be in two places at the same time.

Knowing Reid, he'd tell me to go to the class. If the tables were turned, he'd stay home to be with me. That's what I really want to do. I could call SWW tomorrow and ask if I can come to the class on the next Monday and make up what I miss. If I do that, will I really get all I need out of the class missing the introductory two hours? Or I could skip the class and work out the process without any help? I do want to get serious about trying to get this book published so I can get the one I'm working on published, too.

Don't you just love dilemmas and hard choices? Stay tuned and I'll let you know what happens.

Filling the Holes

My mother had a fancy China boot she always had out on a table in our living room. Looking at it transports me back into my past. We had several items--a picture, a China set that included an old-fashioned bathtub, some tea cups and tea pot. I still have the boot and the picture but I wasn't around when Mother garage-saled the other things. It looks perfect--from one angle, but turn it around and you'll see a small chip gone. This missing piece taught me an important lesson.

Many years ago I made some choices that I wish I hadn't made. No excuses though. I made them and paid for them. In some ways I'm still paying. During that period of time someone broke my precious boot. I gathered the pieces and tried to put them back together, but one small piece was never found.

I grieved over that boot--over the loss of that piece. Every time I looked at it, the day it was broken, the choice I made was brought back to me. What I was really grieving for was the lost time, the hurts that came from my choices--and those things still plague me today in a different way.

But just as He is always ready to step in, God opened my eyes. If I could be so bold as to paraphrase what I think He said to me--"Your whole life is imperfect and can't be any other way because you're human. That's why I gave my son. When you look at that boot, just remember it is Jesus who fills the holes in your life."

Now, when I look at the imperfect boot, I see Jesus.

When I die and my belongings are passed on to my daughters, this boot probably won't mean anything to them. Maybe one of them will remember it from Grandma's house and mine, but more than likely, it won't be important enough for them to save it. I think it's time I tell them the story and let them see Jesus, too.

Choices

We are free, aren't we? Mostly free, that is. The one place we are completely free is in our choices. Even if we lived under an oppressive regime, we still could make a choice to obey or disobey or escape. The outcome of our choice could mean life or death to us and maybe to our family members.

Same as today in our free society. If I choose to obey the speed limit, I probably won't get a ticket. If I decide I need to go faster, then I have to live with the consequences which might be as simple as a speeding ticket and as dire as a wreck. Does my choice affect anyone except me? Of course, it does. If it's a wreck, I could be killed, another person could be killed or maimed. Yes, my choice affects a lot of people. I've heard the saying that no man is an island, and that's true. When a person makes a choice, it affects everyone who loves him or her.

I've made choices in my life that I wish I hadn't made. I can excuse myself by saying I was doing the best I could at that time, and in some ways that might be true. But the truth is that I was foolish and immature and definitely selfish.

There are some of my loved ones I wish would get this message.