Shaping Our Lives

I woke up early this Saturday morning with our move on my mind. In the beginning we thought we knew God was moving us to another city. More than that, we felt God was speaking "purpose" to us. We were moving to fulfill God's purpose in us.

As time went on our thoughts changed. We knew one thing--we were selling our house and moving. But where? Reid's son asked us to stay in town and live in the house he would buy. Another of his sons is wanting to move back here in order to be near family. Our grandson doesn't want us to move and offered to clean out their barn and make it livable for us. We like the weather here and have friends, and doctors, and a good hairdresser :)
All which makes it hard to pull up roots at 73 and start over.

Yet we prayed. "Lord, where do you want us?"

This morning I sat in my favorite room, a room I may not have when we downsize, and read my Bible. I began in Ephesians and read about God's plan from the beginning to make us his children. I went to my Amplified Bible and found a sticky note I'd written many years ago and left on Psalm 90. I'd written four scriptures from the Psalm: 12,14,16,17. Below them was this sentence: God in circumstances shaping life, not circumstances. As I read the verses and meditated on the statement, I saw the truth of our move.

I love my house and I love the space I have. Thinking about squeezing all my "treasures" in a smaller place or having to live without them, is humbling. Humility! Of course. God is working humility in us, and as I read, I saw that He is answering our prayers for wisdom. Humility and wisdom. God's purpose is always to shape our lives.

Purpose is being, not doing.

When I saw this, gratitude came. Ah, ha! Something else God wants from us--gratitude. Oh, works happen, too, but they don't come first because if they do, then humility and wisdom suffer and gratitude pales into pride.

We don't know where we are going to live or who may buy this house and when, but it no longer matters. God is at work in our circumstances shaping our lives and we are grateful for that!

Unmovable Faith

I opened my shades again this morning and there was that beautiful mountain. What a blessing I've had for six and a half years to be able to see the Sandias from my windows. I never dreamed I would fall in love with a mountain.

My husband spoke at an assisted living facility recently. He talked about gratitude and whether we are thermostats or thermometers.

A thermometer measures the temperature of the moment. A thermostat sets the temperature. Something happened yesterday that disappointed me. Instead of remaining fixed in gratitude, my thermometer fell. It took me awhile to shake it off and reset my thermostat to thankfulness.

Paul said to give thanks in all things for this is the will of God. I'm endeavoring to set my thermostat on giving thanks no matter what happens. I want my faith to be like that mountain I see every day--unmovable.

Deja Vu All Over Again

I changed my profile picture for a reason. What you see in the picture is the real me. The dark hair was at one time, but no more. The big red hat and flower represent the freedom and happiness that are what is inside of me fighting to get out.

I've been given so many wonderful blessings in my life, but somewhere along the way I fell into that old ungrateful, negative, complaining person I've been fighting to leave behind for as long as I can remember. Something happened yesterday that woke me up--AGAIN!

Many years ago I made a list. For every negative I could think of in my life, I wrote down a positive. Soon I had a balanced list, which is best because in everything there is a positive and a negative. The optimum is finding the balance. For months every time I had a negative thought I immediately replaced it with a positive one. For instance: Neg--My feet hurt all the time. Pos--Thank you, God, that I can see colors. That you made grass green and the sky blue and flowers of all different shades and hues. And thank you that I have eyes to see all this.

So once more I am having to do this again. I noticed this morning how much better I felt. How much more thankful I am. How much stronger my body is. How much clearer my mind is.

I'll keep the person confidential who turned me around this time, but I want to thank God for using that person to wake me up once more!

Nothing But Net

I went out to get the newspaper this morning and wanted to stay out there. Summer mornings in our neighborhood in Albuquerque are glorious--clear, cool, still. Inside the house, still sleeping, was a husband I love dearly and who I never dreamed would come into my life five years ago; a son and daughter-in-law who we don't get to see as much as we'd like, and a sweet little two-year-old granddaughter. She loves life, giggles like nobody's business at the smallest things, and rarely complains. We'll go to another son's home today and see more grandchildren as we celebrate two birthdays. A little over five years ago I didn't know any of these people, but they have embraced me into their families and given a greater fullness to a life I thought was completely full before.

Life isn't always a "bowl of cherries" but there's always something to be grateful for. I'm going through a rough time right now (alot of which is because I have trouble keeping my mind still and being able to be completely consicious of the present moment), but this morning all I felt, and all I wanted to feel, was gratitude.

Looking back has its good parts and its bad. If I look back with regrets, guilt or shame, it's not good. But when I change my focus and see where I was and where I am now--"nothing but net" (as they say in the basketball world.)

I have to give the credit to God. I'm made alot of dumb, foolish decisions in my life, and He's delivered me out of them all. What's going on at this time isn't a decision I made, but it's a decision I can make now. I know that "this, too, shall pass" and when it passes, I will see God's deliverance again.

So what's my job today? Focus on being grateful, on what is good about my life (which is alot!), only remember how things in the past worked out better than I ever deserved and keep trusting God.

With Him in our lives, no matter what we face, every day will be better than the day before.

Monday Morning Gratitude

Okay. So I've been pretty morose lately. Sorry about that. When I hear about friends who have cancer, friends having frustration and pain because of kids that just won't grow up and be responsible, friends who need jobs, heartbroken friends whose children have gone away and is out of touch, my grandson's friend who was murdered and another whose baby died shortly after birth--well, after a bit it begins to get to me. Then I talk to my own kids and feel the love.

Gratitude is what it's all about. Seeing the good in everything is important. It doesn't always look like there's good in the worst events, but life is a balance. Where there is bad, there has to be good. Same the other way around. Paul talked about that balance in the third chapter of Philippians. He said he had learned to be content in everything, even when he was hungry or well fed or had plenty or been in want. In all of it he learned it was God who gave him the strength to do everything.

After a night of little sleep, I'm just glad to be alive and healthy and hope you are, too --both alive and healthy and most of all grateful.