Our life has changed so much in the past 5 months. I can hardly recognize who we are today compared to who we were before.
For a month we've been in a temporary place. The house we will eventually move into is an enigma. I can't picture myself living there at all. We made some quick decisions that don't look good to me today. It will take a lot of God's grace to make them work for us.
I remember a time before moving to Abq when I sat in my OK house and experienced total contentment. First time in my life I'd ever felt that. Haven't since. Certainly not feeling it now.
A friend wrote a poem and sent it to me. She said I can share it.
"As my mouth salivates
and my mind jumps to and fro
I wonder if life will ever
return to a simpler time.
Will my thoughts ever be
simple and shallow?
Will they ever center around
anything but me?
What did I used to think about?
What were my days filled with?
When was my job(life for me) fulfilling
enough that I didn’t
struggle with my thoughts?
If my mind would just
I long for contentment."
I pray that with this new phase of life will come contentment.
Yesterday I looked at the house with different eyes---on purpose. If I believe God was in this move then I have to trust him with all of it.
I found this quote today from the same friend:
“If you feel a deep hunger but don’t know what you want, just ask God to order for you. That way you’ll always get whatever is the best on the menu.”
“I spent the last week so lost in myself and unresponsive to God that I hadn’t asked
Him to order anything for me.
Yet He still gave me exactly what I needed to fill the emptiness.”
From Sister Chicks Down Under by Robin Jones Gunn
Yes, He is faithful.
Paul said he was content in all circumstances. I wonder if he put in an order?
I pray that when I look back on all this I will see how God worked contentment into me---no matter the circumstances.