Thursday, July 30, 2009

No Place Like Home

When I'm away from home, I always wish I was there.
Sometimes, when I'm at home, I'd like to be somewhere else for just a few hours then twitch my nose and be back home.

We spent a few days with my brother and if the hotel had been nicer, the stay would have been less yucky. But the time we spent with family couldn't have been better.
I wish we could get with brother and sister-in-law at least once a week to play cards. But driving 11 hours is just a little too long for one evening.

In the past families lived close together. My grandparents were only 90 miles from us. I had aunts and uncles even closer than that. Today is different. Two children are 10 hours away. Two are a couple of days away. Another is a good 12 hours away. One lives in the same town but we rarely see them because they are 30 minutes away and are busy with five children. We have cousins, nephews and nieces spread out around the country. Fortunately we have transportation we didn't have many years ago so we can visit or they can, when we want to.

I'm not sure I'd want all family within a few hours from us, but it would be nice to be able to see them more often. We have free calling minutes and email and airplanes and fast cars we didn't have 70 years ago. We can be thankful for that, can't we?
We can travel to see the relatives any time we want, but that means sleeping in a strange bed at night, and not having our clothes and make up and all the things we need from day to day right at our fingertips.

No. There's just no place like home.

Sunday, July 19, 2009


Some people are naturally funny. Others are not. I'm one of the nots. My brother writes a blog that is humorous. He says my blogs are too serious. My daughter loves to read his blog. She has more "funny" in her than I do.

I wish I could be lighter and funnier, but I don't think it's in me. I've always been introspective--looking into the depth of things. If you've been reading my blogs, you know I'm trying to live in the moment. Sometimes living in the moment gets me in trouble.

This morning a couple of ladies at the church suggested we get a group together and go somewhere. It sounded like fun and I jumped on it. I didn't talk it over with my husband. I approached some other couples and they were a little reluctant. (i.e. They aren't going.)As I stepped back and thought about it I realized it probably won't work at all. My husband wasn't too keen on the excursion but he'd sacrifice.

Now I have to go back to the ladies and say, "Time Out!"

What's the difference in being spontaneous and foolish? Maybe I just found out!
At any rate, it isn't funny.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Fear Not

Where does fear come from? Are we all born with it? Is it learned? Is there anyone who has no fear at all?

I know of a man, Dick Mills, who used to have a ministry of speaking scriptures to people. His was a prophetic ministry and God must have been his source. I went to a meeting on June 5, 1974, where he spoke to every person there and gave them scriptures that had meaning in their lives.

I could hardly wait to hear what God wanted to say to me and was disappointed when four scriptures about fear were given. All were positive "fear nots." After the meeting with my scripture references in hand, I went to my Bible and read each of them. I probably even told God he must have gotten them wrong. Days went by and I began to see the truth. I was filled to running over with fear.

Last night I thought about my fears that are still with me. My husband went for a stress test this morning. His sister died doing one but a cardiologist was present and she was revived. Husband has a heart problem and says he has already out-lived all the men in his family. When asked how long he thought he would live, he gave the age of 78 which is only a few years away. I've been widowed before and I don't look forward to that. Neither do I look forward to leaving him behind. Fears.

My daughters are adults but I had fears all their lives that they would die. I didn't voice them and tried not to think of that because my mother told me never to say, "If so-and-so died, I couldn't stand it." She said that about one of her brothers who later died.

I have fears concerning our country now that the liberals are in power. It isn't about liberal verses conservative. To me it's about freedom verses big government running our lives. It's about Jesus becoming marginalized. It's about seeing my self-employed son-in-law forced out of business by government regulations and taxes. It's about my grandson and daughter unable to get jobs because they aren't college trained. It's about socialized medicine and higher taxes and people being in charge who love the rest of the world more than they love their own country.

And, yes, I still have fear about losing the people I love, about not being able to care for myself in my old age. I go to those scriptures over and over: Deut. 31:6,8; 2 Tim. 1:7; John 6:20; and Isaiah 41:10,13--"Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you." A few years later I needed those words as I had never needed any before. Faithful as always, God added to them. "I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Heb. 13:5)

He never has. His words should eliminate all my fears. They do help when I look to Him and read those promises. But fear never completely leaves me. Maybe it isn't supposed to. If it did, would I turn to Him as often? Would I be as vigilant of life around me? For these reasons perhaps fear has a place in our lives.

Friday, July 10, 2009


If I believed in Minnahoonies, I'd think we have them.

These little buggers are Hawaiian and legend has it that when you leave Hawaii, they sneak into your luggage and come home with you where they cause all kinds of havoc.
Minnahoonies steal your glasses and hide them. They watch with glee as you search everywhere for them, then they sneak them right back where you've looked a dozen times. They cause your appliances to break down. Anything unusual and irritating is caused by these fun-loving scoundrels.

Today the Minnas have messed with Outlook again. Out of nowhere the picture changed. Instead of my folders and info on the left side, the Inbox covers the entire screen. No subjects next to the senders--just dates. Something like this happened recently and I couldn't figure out how to put it back right. Then, one day, it was right.

I blame the Minnahoonies. They are definitely technologically smarter than I am!
Looks like the Hawaiian legend would tell you how to rid yourself of them. Maybe there's no way. Maybe, once a person walks the islands and comes back to the main land, they are stuck with them forever.

I wonder if they're responsible for forgetfulness, too? Like "Now why did I come into this room?" I bet they are!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Deja Vu All Over Again

I changed my profile picture for a reason. What you see in the picture is the real me. The dark hair was at one time, but no more. The big red hat and flower represent the freedom and happiness that are what is inside of me fighting to get out.

I've been given so many wonderful blessings in my life, but somewhere along the way I fell into that old ungrateful, negative, complaining person I've been fighting to leave behind for as long as I can remember. Something happened yesterday that woke me up--AGAIN!

Many years ago I made a list. For every negative I could think of in my life, I wrote down a positive. Soon I had a balanced list, which is best because in everything there is a positive and a negative. The optimum is finding the balance. For months every time I had a negative thought I immediately replaced it with a positive one. For instance: Neg--My feet hurt all the time. Pos--Thank you, God, that I can see colors. That you made grass green and the sky blue and flowers of all different shades and hues. And thank you that I have eyes to see all this.

So once more I am having to do this again. I noticed this morning how much better I felt. How much more thankful I am. How much stronger my body is. How much clearer my mind is.

I'll keep the person confidential who turned me around this time, but I want to thank God for using that person to wake me up once more!

Friday, July 3, 2009

That Which Satisfies

Nothing satisfies like a good night's sleep. If you've never been plagued with insomnia, you may not agree and can think of many things more satisfying. But if you, like me, have had nights when you couldn't go to sleep, you know what I'm talking about.

A night without sleep completely kills the next day. Instead of just losing eight hours during the night, you lose the next twelve or fourteen. I lost out on an early morning at Balloon Fiesta because I didn't sleep all night. We went to the park but by ten o'clock I was back home taking a nap. My brother and two cousins were here and I missed out on some hours with them.

In London I didn't sleep all night and missed taking the Eurostar to Paris the next morning. I'd been before but on this trip we were to go inside the Louve rather than just seeing it from the street. I missed being with family and enjoying seeing them explore Paris for the first time. I knew I couldn't go because I'd be a drag on the entire day trip so I stayed behind at the London hotel.

I have a drug I can take that will help me sleep, but it's habit forming. I don't want to take it all the time because I know where it could lead. When people cast aspersions at Michael Jackson et al, for becoming addicted to drugs, I understand how easy that happens. Their lives depend on them being awake and able to function before people. They may not be able to "take the next day off" when they can't sleep. Ergo--sleep aids.

Thirty-eight years ago I was an addict to tobacco. Like many young people back then smoking was our way of showing independence. I started in 1952 when I was sixteen. Most of the people I knew for the next many years also smoked. By the time 1967 rolled around I was sick and tired of smoking, but I couldn't break the habit. I tried and tried, and finally gave up. In 1971 God struck me in the heart with the words of a fourteen year old boy. This boy showed me how wrong I was about who God was and is. His words rang inside me all night and the next morning. In tears I gave my habit to the Lord and asked Him to help me give it up. Boy! Did He ever! In that instant the desire to smoke was gone and I've never wanted another cigarette. Honestly, it was like I'd never smoked a cigarette before in my life. That's just how perfect God's work was in me.

We can sneer at other's addictions, but we need to look at our own. Are we addicted to sugar, chocolate, soda drinks, sports, sex, perfection. . . you can add your own words. If I could eat sugar today, I'd be addicted to that because I have the propensity to become addicted. We all do. Some more than others.

Which brings me back to sleep. Those pills to help me sleep sit in the bottle calling to me when the Melatonin and L'Tryptophane and magnesium don't seem to be working--when I know I have something to do the next day and want to feel good--when I'm just sick and tired of lying awake. It is much too easy to throw a stone at someone who does something we don't do, when we haven't walked in their shoes.

What is it that calls out to you in times of stress? The best of all worlds is to go to God, but sometimes when I'm awake at two or four in the morning, I wonder if He's asleep. Of course, I know He isn't. He is sitting up with me and usually showing me what the problem is that's keeping me awake this time. Too much food that turns to sugar, stress, thoughts, even a natural pill I've been taking. Sometimes I hear. Sometimes it takes a little longer to get the message.

When I get His message, then I sleep and there's nothing like it.