Gifts

You have a gift. I have a gift. Are we using our gifts?

I've known for years of a gift God gave me, and for a long time I've wanted to use it. But I'm not. I've talked to God about this a lot but didn't receive an answer until yesterday.

Many years ago I painted. Due to circumstances I stopped painting. A few years ago I tried to paint again. Nothing! The "Painting Grace" was gone.
I started writing fiction. I wrote and published a novel. I wrote 2 1/2 more novels and stopped for two reasons. One, we sold our house and moved and then I had knee surgery. All from December through the summer. The second reason: an agent told me my work was good but not great.

During those months when circumstances and stress closed down the "Writing Grace," I learned so much. Mostly about God and His care for me. Somehow I was able to let Him carry everything.

I have begun a new novel and it's a hard one. Hard because it's historical fiction based on real events and real people. I'm not sure I can write this. If I do, I will have to have a double portion of "Writing Grace."

So what did I learn about my gift?

Character has to be matured before the gift can be used. Moses had a gift from God. He tried to use it too soon. When God eventually came to him and told him it was time to use that gift, Moses didn't want to any longer. But he did--and how? With the power and grace of God.

I'm not using my gift and it's all right because I know I'm not ready. The time will come and when it does, I won't even care any longer because I'll know it is not me but God through me bringing forth His gifting.

Same with this new novel. If it happens, it will be because of Him, not me. And I won't care either way. Now that's rest.

Remember

How did I forget?

As age tramps over me, my forgetfulness increases. I know it's not the dreaded "A" disease. Still it's frustrating when I want to say someone's name and can't remember it. A little later it will come to me clear as crystal and I have no idea why it escaped just a bit ago. Forgetfulness happens when I'm writing. I know there's a perfect word but can't pull it up. Drives me crazy!!

But the worst forgetfulness is when I think things aren't going well, when I'm afraid something isn't going to work out, when there are other fears plaguing me. That's when I have to remember how God saw me through dismal days when I was out of answers. I have to remember how he provided for me when I didn't know how I was going to make it. Remember how he provided for the Israelites in the desert; for the hungry when he fed 5,000 and 4,000. That's when I have to remember to rest in Him. Rest--not because I'm tired, but because He is my rest.

Even age can't make me forget all this.