Child Rearing and God Rearing

We had a big discussion last night at one of the groups we attend. The lesson was "Why Does God Allow Bad Things To Happen?" The scripture in Romans 8:28 came up. Does God make good come out of bad all the time? Or do we have the choice to make good come from something bad that happens? One of the men said God is always the same. He doesn't do anything to cause it or make good out of bad. Others thought God does have a hand in our lives, but doesn't make bad happen to us. Bad things just happen and we don't understand why. On our end all we can do is trust Him to get us through bad things. That's the part that's good--learning to trust Him more every day.

I don't think we'll ever understand God while we're in this realm. We might be able to when we're living in eternity with Him, but I'm not even sure about that. This morning I read John Rosemond's column about "Kids' opinions matter not in their rearing." As usual he's right on. He says that it is the right of our children to be governed well, just as it is the right of a populace to be governed well. Children lack good sense and have no concept about what is ahead of them, so they can't be allowed to make choices about their preferences if those preferences are bad for them. They'll reject what is good every time. They'd rather eat ice cream than salad or play video games rather than do chores. It's up to the parents (and teachers) to provide the restraint and direction that they can't provide for themselves.

"Proper restraint and proper direction are essential to turning the antisocial toddler into a disciple who will trust and look up to his or her parents, follow their lead and subscribe to their values." I heard someone say recently that we are turning out high school and college students who have no moral compass. It's pretty obvious that's because of the faulty child-rearing techniques of the past 20 years.

One part of Rosemond's column I love is this: "Irrespective of IQ, children do not think correctly....Parents think discipline is all about shaping proper behavior by manipulating reward and punishment. That's not discipline; that's behavior modification....and that's how one trains a rat, not a human being."

All this brought me back to our discussion from last night. I don't believe God punishes us for doing something wrong or rewards us for doing something right. That's behavior modification. What God is after is trust--trusting Him all the time. And He's wanting us to obey Him. He doesn't consult us about what we think is the best for us. He sets our standards and asks us to follow them.

Some Stuff

Down comes the Mother picture and up comes something else. I haven't decided yet.

After writing last Thursday's blog, I went to the final Esther class. I'm not sure about everything Beth Moore said, but I knew I was hearing from God and He was saying, "Change your stinkin' thinkin'!"

Let me give some quotes that spoke to me last Thursday.
"All these stabs in the dark (when we pray and don't know what to do next) come together in His beauty." Which means to me--He's hearing my prayers and although I can't see anything happening, they will come together eventually.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. (Even me.) In man's realm Time diminishes beauty. In God's realm where we will spend forever, time perfects beauty. Beauty in God's realm is not a treatment. It's a destiny." Imagine that! Our destinies are beautiful.

"My life story is still being written." So is yours.

When I'm overshadowed, underrated, overwrought, under qualified, under attack, over- anxious and over-responsible, God will turn it around. Thank goodness!

It's tough being a woman, isn't it? We want to look good, feel good, smell good and be loved. Men? They know they look good, feel good, smell good and are lovers. (At least that's what they tell themselves and they never obsess about whether or not that's true.)

Psalm 91--God is never more there than when you cannot see Him. Lately that's been where I am. I've been asking God for something for a long time, but nothing is happening. I can't see Him, but I have to believe He's listening and working this problem out.

It's much later in the day since I began this. I've been on the phone with my brother, both of my daughters, an adopted grandson, Comcast, two doctors' offices and three friends. I've written two letters. I've washed so many loads of clothes that I've lost count. Still have two more loads to dry. I've dusted my house, cleaned bathrooms and eaten lunch. But I haven't been on the elliptical yet. Whew! I'm not sure I'll make it.

I don't know if what I've written makes any sense at all but here it is. I hope your day has gone well. Until I get back on this again, know that God is with you even if you can't see or hear Him.

Choices

Our church is looking to hire a new minister. The team working through all the candidates has taken eight months to come down to four candidates. In the past we would have had to wait until each candidate showed up and preached to us. From that limited information we'd make a decision. But with the world of Internet technology we can go to the churches' web sites and the candidates' blogs and get a pre-sermon look into the man and his thoughts.

Yesterday at church, when we were introduced to each man and his family via pictures and a little background information, one candidate stood out in my mind. (I've talked to two other people who felt the same way.) As I've gone into the sites, I still like this man. In a few weeks we'll get to meet him in person. I wonder if that first impression will stand up.

First impressions are definitely important, but we have to be open to realizing those impressions might not be "right on" about the person. I've met people I didn't think I'd like, but after getting to know them, I realized what I first saw wasn't who they really were. It works both ways. What might look like unfriendliness can be shyness or fear.

This journey to find a minister is kind of fun--reading blogs, talking to friends, meeting the people in person when they come for their week end "try-out" and listening to God. Does it really matter which one is chosen? Aren't all the men probably fine ministers or why would the search team have come down to these four? Would they all be a good fit for our church? Does God really care which one we choose? He loves all of them. Still, we'll pray and the one we all agree on (or most of us agree on) will come, and we'll say God sent him to us.

I wonder sometimes if we try to put God's stamp of approval on everything we do just to make us feel better about out decisions. Or--is He really more involved in our lives than we think? We won't know that answer for sure until we step into eternity with Him. Until then we continue walking through life and trying not to stumble.