It's All About Love

I haven't blogged in several days although something has been rolling around in my spirit. I spent yesterday writing and woke up this morning realizing I'd made a big mistake in Copper Penny. I've made some drastic changes to that novel and need to make more. Lying in bed I decided I'd just let it go. If someone buys it, then I'll face making those changes again. This is a small thing in the scheme of life.

One of our close friends is facing cancer treatment. She, her husband and my husband and I had dinner one day last week. We prayed together on the sidewalk of a busy shopping center before saying good-bye. When I hugged her, I wanted to say what I was feeling, but that feeling surprised me so much I didn't. That feeling is what has been going around in my spirit.

I wanted to say, "I wish I could take this for you." Even as I write it, tears come to my eyes because I really feel strongly that I would take it for her if I could. The only other person I've ever felt this for is one of my daughters, and that's only if she had to face something hard, which she hasn't so far. I'd rather it happen to me than to her.

I've been talking to God about all this since that day at the shopping center. Would I really carry it for her? I can't get away from the answer. Yes. I would if I could. In the beginning I wondered if it was because I thought I could do it better than she can. But she's strong. She's been through some serious heartbreak that only made her stronger. I know she can get through this with grace. So why?

What I believe God is showing me is how he felt about mankind. He hurt because we were suffering and knew he was the only answer. He came to earth as a man and saved us. His sacrifice was all about love and redemption.

As I tried to put all this together I came to a conclusion. I'm not God. Duh!
He did it for people who didn't deserve it. I couldn't do it if I thought the person had brought the suffering on himself. I couldn't do it for a rapist or a murderer or even a homeless person. As I let my mind run through all the people I know--all the ones I love, only these two stood out. I could do it for them but not the others. I'm big into justice. I believe we reap what we sow. I've sowed and God has saved me in spite of that. But with others who have reaped and they are sowing--well, justice says they deserve it. Pretty callous thinking and not a bit of grace and love and mercy there.

So, you can see I'm not that altruistic. In fact, I, like so many people, am self-centered. Until it comes to my friend and my daughter. For them I'd give my life and give it willingly if it would keep them from having to suffer. I don't know what all this means. I just know what I feel.

Everywhere and in Everything

Hedonism. The first time I became familiar with that word was when my husband's boss described their vacation on an island by that name in the Bahamas. He and his wife were in their late forties and had discovered the joys of nudism. He talked about the people they met and how they snorkled, swam, dined and visited sans clothing. He invited us to come with them sometime. No thanks. (I haven't been in touch with them for years. Now that they're nearing eighty, I wonder if they still go to there.)

Hedonism is the philosophy that pleasure is of ultimate importance. Its name is derived from the Greek word for "delight." There are scores of hedonistic resorts in the world. They are based on "do what you want to do" places; no holds barred, no laws or ethics, nothing to hold a person back from exhibiting his most basic instincts and desires.

I believe God is everywhere and in everything--omnipresent. If that's true, then He must be on those hedonistic islands, too. In what way, I'm not sure. (I wonder if they go to church nude--or do they even have churches around those resorts? How do you focus on God when naked? Makes for a strange picture. Maybe they dress up in swim suits or shorts for services.) But I digress.

We saw a movie yesterday--"Hancock." Good movie. Not great. A lot of special effects, good actors and a good story. It's my belief that if God is really omnipresent, then I can find Him if I look. I saw Him in the movie. I don't want to give away the plot, but I will tell you where I found Him, and why I'm writing about hedonism in the same blog.

Hedonism is about ME, my pleasure, what I want. Hancock is about doing what's good for someone else. Hancock makes the ultimate sacrifice and that sacrifice was to deny himself for someone else's happiness. That's where I saw God. My basic nature might want to do nothing that doesn't bring me satisfaction and pleasure, but if I have enough of God in me, I won't be able to do it. Now, I know people who say they don't believe in God, but they aren't hedonistic. They are good people and would give of themselves for someone else. Maybe they have more of God in them than they know.

After all, He is omnipresent.