Sunday, March 29, 2009

Look Out Daughters. You May Be Next.

One morning when we went to pick up my mother for church, she was dressed in a blouse and petticoat. She thought the petticoat was pretty and no one would notice. I got her into a skirt, and off we went to church. As we walked in she went up to two black women and asked them if Oprah was coming today.

A few years later on a Sunday morning I went to church wearing one large white clip-on earring. I was an altar counselor and had been to a meeting prior to the service, then had stood down in front of the entire 1000 member congegation, counseled a young woman and gone out to eat. It wasn't until I got home and started to change clothes that I saw my other earring next the phone where I'd taken it off that morning. Did anyone notice and say anything to me? My family? Nope.

Dementia was my mother's excuse for the petticoat and Oprah things. My sans earring was purely airheadedness. I was only in my 50s when that happened. My mother was in her 80s. She never outgrew being a rebel, but she was a funny rebel. She laughed at herself and loved people. I learned so much from her, and just hope my kids have learned lessons as good as the ones she taught me.

No one had a better grandma than she was to her grandkids. One of the lessons she taught my girls was that when they dated they should keep a quarter between their knees, and they'd get along great. Because she was such a hoot, if she'd been in her right mind, she'd have laughed off all her goofiness and gotten away with wearing the petticoat.

When we got home this morning from church, Reid asked me if my blouse was supposed to have the tag on the outside. You can guess the rest. I wore it wrong side out!

So, what was my excuse? Allergies? I've used that one too much lately. I can't use the blonde airheadedness since I let my hair go back to silver. And I certainly hope it isn't dementia. More important than why is how can I keep from doing something like that again? Stay home and never go out? Make Reid do a scan every time I get ready to leave the house? Do you think he'd notice if I wore a petticoat instead of a skirt? (Probably not.)

You know what's great about this? Knowing that I'm turning in to my mother. But I was hoping I'd just get her "good" qualities, not the petticoat part.


  1. I have almost done something like this twice in recent weeks. I have two pairs of shoes that are very similar, but one is black and the other brown. Twice, I have noticed a very slight difference in the feel of my shoes just before walking out the door. Yep, I had put on one black and one brown shoe.

    Dementia can strike pretty early. :-)

  2. Hysterical! I blame all craziness on the kids. The other day Little Man caught me putting the cereal box in the fridge and the milk in the pantry. Hubby says, "We were both more normal than not until kids." Not sure that's true but I'll blame the kids for my missing brain cells as long as I can.