Monday, June 8, 2009


Family problems are the worst ever. If we have relationships with friends that don't go smoothly, we can walk away. But when it's family... How do you walk away from them?

I've found that the only way I can cope is through prayer. If what is feared happens, I know God has the strength I'll need to get through it, and I pray the family member it happens to has the strength to go to Him, too.

What really bothers me is how I cope today. I know I've shut off part of my feelings. It happened the first time when I was 16 and had my heart broken by a boyfriend. I consciously thought, "I'll never let anyone hurt me like that again."
I didn't until I was in my forties. It took me a little longer after that episode to shut down. And I haven't opened myself up again.

This works for me except for one big thing. By shutting self off from feeling deep emotions, a person (me?) shuts self off from accepting deep emotions from others.

It's safer that way, isn't it? No more hurting.

But is it the way God would like a person to cope?

If it isn't, then what?


  1. Hubby is very much in control of his feelings and emotions. Where my heart is quick to take the leap of faith, his is not. As a result, he's not hurt, disappointed and let down as I am sometimes. Is loving worth the risk? I think so.

  2. Courageous of you to share these experiences. It is natural to pull back when you have been hurt, we all do. That is where Jesus can model an alternative approach for us. Jesus experienced deep hurt, just like all of us. But, he didn't withdraw, he opened himself up even more. The more he was hurt the more he was able to endure hurt and keep loving.

    Sometimes in self-defense we have to withdraw for a while. Even Jesus didn't entrust everything to everbody b/c he knew the hearts of men and he had only limited time. He also had to retreat at times to the wilderness for prayer and regrouping. But he always went back, even to the people who hurt him.

    Sounds like you are wrestling with that, just like all of us. And you are right drawing on prayer for your primary resource for strength ... that is what Jesus did.

    Good post.