Sunday, November 29, 2009

To Know Him

The young man who spoke at church Sunday shared some of his faith journey. He didn't preach a three part sermon. He spoke from his heart and his message moved all of us. As I lay in bed trying to go to sleep Sunday night, my thoughts went back to the night I began my own journey of faith.

I'd gone to church off and on all my life--mostly on. We attended a wonderful church in Amarillo and only went on Sunday mornings. I began having the desire to go on Sunday night but my husband didn't want to go. Finally, one evening I decided to go by myself. My three year old daughter wanted to go with me that night and I took her. My five year old wanted to stay home with her dad.

I wonder today why I let my little one go with me. She was a talker and mover and never behaved quietly in church. But I'm so glad I took her that night because she's part of the beauty of what happened to me. Since I knew she would probably be disruptive we sat on the last pew near the door in case I had to take her out. Almost as soon as we sat down she put her head in my lap and stretched out beside me and went to sleep. Is there anything sweeter than your baby sleeping? I loved having her there.

Because I'd gone to church for so long I knew all about God and Jesus and all the Bible stories. That was the problem. I knew ABOUT them and that was all.

I don't know what happened that night or what I heard but all of the sudden something changed. There was more to God and Jesus and being a Christian than I had ever known before. I didn't know what it was. I just knew there was more.

That night was the beginning of my journey into the spiritual realm. If I was wanting more, I wasn't aware of it, but there it was. More.

I can close my eyes right now and see myself in that pew; my baby girl's head in my lap while she slept; my spiritual eyes suddenly opened just a bit.

My journey began that night and continues today. No matter how much we know God, we know so little of Him. He is beyond our knowledge; beyond our understanding. Can't you hear David's heart as he sings his psalms about the wonders of God?

The story of the blind men describing the elephant comes to my mind. From the part they touched each thought they knew what an elephant looked like, but none of them had the complete picture. Each of us knows a part of God, but none of us knows Him in totality. It will take eternity to grasp even a small part of who He really is. But while we are living here we get glimpses of Him that we didn't see before. My prayer is for Him to open all of our eyes so we can see Him as He is.

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